06 October 2017

LET ME BACK UP A LITTLE HERE.
Lets you take the pull down seat in the trunk section in this blue '79 Caprice Station Wagon that faces the "back" window, but since you have let me back up a little here, you'll see bumperstickers (I’D RATHER BE 300 FEET BEHIND YOU!) where it was meant to see windshields and I am stepping on it.  You find it funny and worrisome at once, for this is real rear wheel drive, and my acceleration in reverse gear gallops over the raised and bumpy railroad tracks so the Caprice goes airborne like some major motion heckova hunkova truck commercial and your pants moisten, you have suspended breath and your adrenals could sluice no better if a flaming volkswagen beetle had to be lifted to save your own little bundle of joy, for I have not turned my head to see the road in front of you; I am using the rearview mirror and this is what I meant by let me back up a little here.

Not to worry on this lightly travelled straight and mostly flat road lined with a lot of nothing but cotton fields and the occasional telephone pole should I lose control. I won't, I promise, reassuring that shy of a steep embankment, it is almost impossible to roll a Caprice Station Wagon.  I did not want to scare you so though and feel bad that your bladder has involuntered, how pale you are, so now we coast.  You take a deep breath in a relief that I appreciate as most of all it is audience that I need for this little backing up of mine.

Why don't we visit the drive-thru just like this: you go first, I'll let the electric window down and please order me a coffee along with whatever you like.
Do not try to escape or I will close the electric window on you, its one of the few things General Motors was doing right in '79 and you would be wise to take my word for the python like grip the window crank motor is capable of stopping you with - go ahead, get a Chalupa if you like and I promise to go slow while we eat. Thank you for witnessing my backing up a little here, please buckle up.